A friend of mine asked me today whether he should write his ex girlfriend at her birthday. I told him that he should be a gentleman and send a greeting card and ask her how is her life. I advised him to ask casually how she is and not with the intention to win her back again or to sleep with her at least. His dilemma was whether he shall be embarassed if she would not write him back or not. He had an alternative that he would say her hi and if she replied, he would ask how she is. I think that this calculative approach is not the best thing we can do. I told him to be morally pure. If he writes her naturally as a gentlemen and with a healthy interest in her life as his expartner, then he can be sure that he did the best thing her reply or ignoring notwithstanding. If she replies him, then they can continue in a frienship and if she does not reply in order to ignore him and show him that she does not need him then it is basically her fault. But if he writes her with the implicit intention that he might win her and sleep with her only then if she does not reply he is embarassed because she ignores him and she does the right thing because such approach is stupid and not worthy of any reply. What happens is not really as important as the mental approach one has. If I want to be morally pure and do a good thing by being interested in her life, not in order to force myself into her life again, then I can be sure that her reply may be anything but I know that I did a good thing. Once again it is necessary to get out of the menagerie created by my bodily desires and ego and free the spirit of these burdes my overcoming the ego and making my choice supreme above all other factors that may influence me.
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