Why should polygamy be apriori wrong? I do not want to discuss pros and cons of polygamny and monogamy but I would like to delve a little bit into the nature of intimate partner relationship and discuss why it is better to hold this belief of fairy tale monogamy as relative and socially constructed, rather than given.
Biologically a woman, as we see in the nature the female chooses among the usually biggest and strongest male. Today strength is not as important is intelect, cunnings etc to live successfully in this life and so our nature and biological bent must not be so readily listened to. On the other hand, we are still partly animals and heterosexual man subconsciously want to have sexual intercourse with a woman that has blond hair, because she seems fragile, that has proportionate hips and breast, because these seems her fertility and capability of borning an ofspring. On one hand, we are still animals but on the other there are other factors that we should listen to when choosing a partner for life. Primarily, we are not animals inherently, although we share many common traits with them. I think that we have the will to revolt against our base biological needs. This virtually means that we should go against the desire in us that says us that the partner is a good for having chilďren, in todays western society that the partner is good in bed. In men this means not choosing a woman with whom he copuletes and then leaves her, and in women this means that she should not want to choose a man with the biggest amount of men hormon testoterone. Naturally we choose like animals but if we choose as people, as humans then we can discover another layers of human relationships which are based not on our animal desires, but on spiritual interconnection between two people, a man and a woman. THere are natural differences between men and women. For example talking, women talk in order to secure their positions and that is why it is so difficult for them to not talk or when their partners do not talk. Women then do not know whether they can believe and trust them. On the other hand, this also is a biological desire and it may be overcome. Men on the other hand are not made to understand everything women says and it is difficult to follow the flow of womens words. Maybe it is not so important to take everything women say seriously, because they sometimes talk just for talking sake, to secure their position and keep in touch with the other person in order to see if they can be safe with the other person, silence does not tell whether the person is good or bad, that is why women talk. Men on the other hand should listen to women attentively, but not so much to their words, but just to the talk itself. To show that they listen to them. Women it seems to me do not want to be taken so seriously for what they say, but for what they do. Men on the other hand do not talk in order to talk but what they say they believe should be taken seriously, that is another vital difference between men and women in communication. Women do not mean seriously they say but want to be taken serious for what they do and men should learn to listen to what women say but should not try to dispute everything women say logically because women care more about emotions than about logic. Men on the other hand want to be taken seriously for what they say by women but should learn that women are not so much preocupied with login in words so that it is not so much important for them what men say but rather how they act. This bearing in mind can make easier many communicational gaps between men and women. Anyway, to come back to the polygamy and monogamy issue. Today women definitely want to be the ones in the eyes of men and very often this applies to men vica versa. If we keep our base desires at bay then we may reach a consensus that men learn to listen to their wifes and women learn to undestand that listening to them is sometimes very difficul for them due to their different, logic composition of communication. In prehistoric times men needed logic short and understandable utterances to understand between themselves in order to fight some animal. Women on the other hand stayed in the camp and during the handwork had much time for talking. Men on the other hand could not talk while waiting for the mamooth to be slayed. This does not mean that we should not follow this pattern of on the other hand to break it, i just want to point out that it is possible to changer our natural bent and that we should use the communicatio in order to understand each other and understand out differences and use these differences not to divide our male and female words, but but make it closer and more intimate.
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