Love vs infatuation
I was thinking about why people commit adultery. I think that until a husband acts like a lover, affectuate and everything, than a woman has no desire to find a lover because she has both, a husband and a lover. in an intimate relationship, even in old age we need both. the spontaneous infatuation we experience at the beginning of any relationship and also the stabilty that we experience during or after some time in a relationship. men think mistakenly that once they are with the girl, then do not have a reason to show affection towards her again. this is a false belief. a woman needs to know that she is adored by the man. if he only says it to her than it is the first step in showing her affection and not giving her a reason to find a lover. on the other hand, we need to be seduced by the first impulses of intatuation in any relationship. the beginnings are not what follows. we should realize even at the beginning of the relationships that infatuation shall not last for ever, which is to say that one cannot build a lasting and stable relationship just on mutual affection. nevertheless, mutual afection is needed in the relationship in order to return to the fond memories we had together once the stormy days come. it is good to keep in infatuation as long as possible and i think that with a bit of luck one may keep it for a life time. now we got to what is really important, not only in relationship but in life as well. it is the reasonable choice and not a rash decison. we are sentient beings . we need to make decisions not based on animal or atavistic desire-and infatuation is such a one- but based on the pros and contras of the current situation. even in romance there is a need for rational thinking. by thinking rationally one does not diminish love. right the opposite. infatuation is basically a lie. it is here in order to not let humans extinct. infatuation is for most people a sexual energy, which is of course correct and there is nothing wrong about it, yet if we want to build a lasting relationship, which is, lets face it, unnatural among other beings, then we also need to accept that only infatuation is not enough. in order to build love, infatuation is I think indispensable, sexual energy is vital in any intimate relationships, otherwise, it would not be an intimate relationship, nevertheless it is not everything. we also need other aspect to be present if we want it to last longer than just for the time enough to create posterity. such aspects are in my view honesty, uprightness, ability to compromise, moral approach, communication, ability to lead a dialogue, virtue of listening as opposed to always talking and many others. love is one word but many characteristics, we do not need to posses all of them, we should rather find those that we consider important and these should we cultivate. nevertheless, we should not forget that my view of love is always inevitably too narrow and that love, although one word, has a neverending list of shapes.
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