relativity of age
I saw an argument yesterday about a mother and her daughter. It was in a fantasy play where the souls of mother and daughter are switched. the body is the same but the soul of the mother is in her daughters body and vica versa. the plot is basically obviously about how to get into their real bodies and when the attempts fail, the daughter and her mother are slowly realizing what it means to be in this body. the daughter says when she considers her lot horrible that she would miss the dating, partying and everything so pleasant and the mother ponders about her plight in similar way-she after a years of experience sees that this age is very difficult and dangerous and is frightened with the perspective of going through it once again. here we see that one situation(returing to ones adolescence) can be seen by two opposing optics. either through lenses of something pleasant-girls view without the bad expericence and throught the prism of mother which is considering all these (in girls eyes positive)aspects of adolescence as unpleasant. I think that it is very important for the parents to accept the fact that one learns only throught experience. words are good for showing that something may be dangerous but it is never possible to convey all the message because words are relative and never carry the absolute message. even if they did, one situation as we see can be perceived by different people differently which means that the more one is identical to someone else, the more one understands experiecne and experiences of someone else. it also depends on the state of mind, empthy, education, upbringing and these factors. for children it is virtually impossible to understand ones parents because it has no such experience. if the child should understand ones parents and see that some things are better avoided, then it would not have these experience which are vital for life. naturally, parents want to guard their children nevertheless yet such an approach is detrimental to both sides. parents should not absolutely refrain from reproaching their children but they should acknowledge that free will is more important than anything else. child is not property. nevertheless it is very difficul for parents to understand and I myself have great worries having children for this exact reason. children should try to understand their parents, see that what they are doing is benefitial for them but should not listen to the parents in all their advice. in the end, it is about subjective experience and after all, these experiences makes us what we are. as parents, we should not want the children to be us, but be new persons, according to what they choose, not us.
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Používam Rychlý zápisník
Systemická supervize a koučování zaměřené na řešení 