Are we responsible for those we ˋattachedˋ to us?
The little prince in the famous Exuperys book ask this question-metaphorically about roses one attaches. In my view, this is a mystifying notion. In the first place because those attached to use made it in their own free will, if not, then in a way it it might be our fault-if we made them or manipulated them into depending on use due to their state of mind or status. If I started dating someone, then it must have been mutual choice and not my thinking that I bound the person to me and that furthermore I am responsible for his or her actions. Same as the free will to be with someone has one the free will withouth further responsibility to let one go. I think that any strong personality would not let the partner that initiated the break up to be friends after that. This must hurt a lot and of course the party that wanted to continue in the relationship takes even this pitiful approach as some kind of consolation prize but prolonging this plight is even more hurtful and leads into the vicious cycle spiral because the left one thinks that things would lighten up and the party that initiate the break up thinks that this approach is good for both. Naturally, when I do not want to be with the one then I do not care about what he or she feels and think that friednship is better than nothing. the opposit is true, I think. If the intimate relationships was good, then it is not good to be only friends-in other words friendship cannot work well if the intimate relationship worked well, these two contradict each other. I do not claim that there are no exceptions but love is not something that can be interachanged for friendship so easily. I think that between love and any other relationships is a diametral difference. I think that the idea of splitting up as two resposible and adult human beings is ridiculous. if the relationships was good then it is natural that there are tears, sorrows, regrets maybe accusations. nevertheless, these all pass and after a natural phase of sadness one is again opened to other relationships. If the state of sadness that is natural is prolonged by a feeble hope of returning to each other by being friends then the one hurt does not have time to recover. It would be great if both of them could become friends in the sense of liking each other and not bearing the wounds, overcoming them and becoming friends withouth feeling attachement and seeing the potential of building a new intimate relationships with someone else. Nevertheless, the chance is not high. In my view I would recommend letting both sides have a time off withough seeing each other and after the natural phase of sadness passes then seeing each other again as friends- or at least people that respect each other and still have fondness of mutual interaction.
Používam Rychlý zápisník