What is love?
A cousin of mine asked me to write a wedding speech, so here it is.
I read a nice commentary by a small child, that love means that I know that my sister steals chocolate from me and yet I always store it in the same place. It may seem nice when pronounced by a little child, but in adulthood and in partnersip we might consider it naive or even stupi. Nevertheless, is not true love such that does not think about oneself but trusts the other party without fear?
St Paul in his letter to Corinthians says famously about love:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
We are obsessed with love, we see love all around us but we fear it and we try to calculate to get it, not lose it and profit pro it. We desire absolute love and yet we do not want to open up our hearts because love is not about taking but rather about giving.
From the point of view of philosophyp, there are three kinds of love-eros, philia, agape. Eros is about physical attractiveness, philia about friendship and agape about self sacrifice. If we have only eros, we suddenly start to miss a deeper understanding by the partner. We realize that we seek something more than just carnal pleasure. When we have only philia, we see that the partner is more of a friend that I like spending time with but there is nothing that trully atracts me to him or her. When we have both-eros and philia, we are on a good way, we like each other but we still miss something. To like someone means to have a reason to be with the one-physical attractiveness, similar ideas, visions or world view. Beauty fades, opinions will change, what shall bind us together then? To love means to not have a reason why I want to be with you because a true love does not need a reason. If I realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and if I want it to be a genuine and happy choice, I need a third kind of love-agape. This kind of love is such that each other gives oneself to the partner and does not think about receive something, anything in return. This love does not seek ones profit but well being of the partner. The prerequisite to do this is an unconditional decision to give oneself to the other with the absolute trust that the one shall not betray my love. it is a life decision but it is worth it.
After all, I would add that love is virtually luck and choice. Luck because you found the ONE and choice because you want to see the ONE in the person you found. For this I wish you from the bottom of my heart, strength, hope and LOVE.
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