what do people most regret when they are on the deathbed?
I read about a book that deals with issues that people most regret when they are dying and on the first place was that they did not do what they wanted, did not spend time with people they liked, did not visit places they wanted and so on. This is not surprising for me because people around me talk very often about not having time or money to do this or that and rather live in a dream than living the dream. Objectively, it is naturally true that for some things we shall never have enough money, but on the other, is not money or time just a pretense? We have only time for what we want to have time. When one has children and says that it is impossible to save money or time for going on vacation, then on one hand he is right but on the other, this pretext may be used for ever. and maybe some people really rather live in a dream, that someday they shall have money, rather than doing something for waking up from the dream and living the life. I do not judge, but I think that majority of people really like staying in their zone of comfort without doing anything for fulfiling their dream. I also think that what people regret very often, which may not be mentioned in the most regretable issues people say is honesty. Naturally, actions and deeds, choices and so on are things that people regret because they know that they could have made better choices then they have, but on the other hand,the consequences of choices is never forseenable and when looking backward, we cannot say whether our life would be better or not having done this or that differently. whereas when talking about honesty to oneself and to others, it is quite obvious, that when not being frank and straight to the people around one lives in a lie. this is not a dream one does not want to realize, this is nightmare after all, fully voluntary nightmare, living in a prison of lie, this is even worse than psychological menagerie that people sometimes believe. living in a menagerie of lies that are told to us by powers that be is similar to living ones dream, it is a lie, but a lie that we are taught to believe and like and hope that in the future it may come to fruition. living in dishonesty is living in a permanent lie that never changes unless the one changes ones view and starts to be honest, it is very different from the menagerie or illuson of the dream that may once be real. regreting not being truthful is in my view the thing that people regret most in life because it is basically a root of all other regrets, it underlies all other things that one tries to believe and knows that are not true. rather than living a dream it is much better, I think, to be truthful to oneself and realize that such a dream may really be too expensive and that one focues rather on some other dream, something that is pursuable easily. after all, can one really say that dreaming is something bad? it may sound so after reading all this, but I do not think so. what I think though is that when one volunarily lives in dishonesty then everything else must be inevitably unlucky for the one because being truthful is the milestone of all other actions and deeds, that is why I claim that the choice to or in this case not live live in truth and honesty is something that people regret even more than stupid actions or deeds from the past.
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