emancipatory stereotypes

emancipatory stereotypes
I read a survey that when a woman looks like a man-eg has short hair or wear clothing like men, it is more acceptable than when a man wears clothing or looks physiologically like a woman. why is it so? probably it corresponds with the perception of men as more dominant and important in todays society that is still too much patriarchal. that is why mens opinion is still louder and stronger and men confirm when women want to look like men that it is alright. we see affirmative action when a woman wants to be like men but only unless she is not too manly. once she reaches the same heights or skill in some characteristic attributed to men, then she is very quickly ostracized by the patriarchal society. Today, the role of men is the dominant one and that is why men like when women want to look like them but women lose their women nature. there is no point in contesting who is more manly because both sexes need each other and each has the same value. I think that the acceptance of being either woman or a man is the most important ability and should be emphasized by both sexes. I would even say that all the sexual deviations from man x woman dichotomy are also a rebelion against tradition which wants to pidgeonhole us. on the other hand it is only a illusionary rebelion because one does not escape ones body- i am afraid that there is nothing more than two sexes and any deviation from this is only rebelion against not acceptance- and i think that in many cases against not acceptance of women by men. also the need of some women to look like men is such deviation-unfortunately caused by men. should both sexes feel the acceptance the way one is born there would be no need to be something different than what one is born. the pattern of sexual expression is individual and maximally subjective. if one feels like something diffeent than man or woman, there is nothing wrong with it but when one starts to exhibit it and starts to call for special rights, then it evokes a kind of dissatisfaction not with what one is but with how one is perceived. the perception of society should not influence how we ourselves percieve us. the need to call oneself to attention is I think a trait, maybe a proof that the pursuit of special sexual identity is not some inner need but rather an exhibition or rebelion as above mentioned-to a certain measure caused by those that scorn it.


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The vision of immortality

The vision of immortality
I tried to envision what would the life be like if we were invincible. the first idea that struck my mind was that the life would be pointless because all we do is meaningful only in liason to the time we spend with it. any activity we do is worth doing only when we think about time we spend with it. should we have always enough time, we would either do everything and not care about outcome because we would always have another chance to do it better or differenty. the other option is that we would do nothing because without any measurement we would not be able to choose what to do. i reckon that the vision if immortality , endlessness, eternity here in this world is rather uncomfortable vision. on one hand, mankind always dreamt about living for ever, on the other, what would we do should we live forever? thinking about living forever evokes a kind of fear of death because ones life does not have a meaning. maybe that is the reason why someone would want to live for ever. on the other hand, should one have a meaning in life, in what one does, then it is virtually pointless to think about when one dies because one does not influence it. who lives life to the fullest does not think about when it ends but focuses on the present moment. paradoxically those who see their lives as valuable and efficent are not as afraid of death as those who are lost in their lives because atonment and reconciliation with life-wisdom in life is also wisdom in and with death.


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What is love?

What is love?
A cousin of mine asked me to write a wedding speech, so here it is.

I read a nice commentary by a small child, that love means that I know that my sister steals chocolate from me and yet I always store it in the same place. It may seem nice when pronounced by a little child, but in adulthood and in partnersip we might consider it naive or even stupi. Nevertheless, is not true love such that does not think about oneself but trusts the other party without fear?

St Paul in his letter to Corinthians says famously about love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

We are obsessed with love, we see love all around us but we fear it and we try to calculate to get it, not lose it and profit pro it. We desire absolute love and yet we do not want to open up our hearts because love is not about taking but rather about giving.
From the point of view of philosophyp, there are three kinds of love-eros, philia, agape. Eros is about physical attractiveness, philia about friendship and agape about self sacrifice. If we have only eros, we suddenly start to miss a deeper understanding by the partner. We realize that we seek something more than just carnal pleasure. When we have only philia, we see that the partner is more of a friend that I like spending time with but there is nothing that trully atracts me to him or her. When we have both-eros and philia, we are on a good way, we like each other but we still miss something. To like someone means to have a reason to be with the one-physical attractiveness, similar ideas, visions or world view. Beauty fades, opinions will change, what shall bind us together then? To love means to not have a reason why I want to be with you because a true love does not need a reason. If I realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and if I want it to be a genuine and happy choice, I need a third kind of love-agape. This kind of love is such that each other gives oneself to the partner and does not think about receive something, anything in return. This love does not seek ones profit but well being of the partner. The prerequisite to do this is an unconditional decision to give oneself to the other with the absolute trust that the one shall not betray my love. it is a life decision but it is worth it.

After all, I would add that love is virtually luck and choice. Luck because you found the ONE and choice because you want to see the ONE in the person you found. For this I wish you from the bottom of my heart, strength, hope and LOVE.


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false need to dichotomize

false need to dichotomize
I wonder why is it that people ask for a pay rise although they may have already enough. but what is enough? rationally, the more money, the better living conditions. animals also try to store as much food as possible. nevertheless, should we be as animals? maybe the impetus to have more does not come entirely from within. i reckon that people from the city usually want to have more money than people from the suburbs or villages and this fact does not depende on their needs but rather on what they see and think and believe they need. people who have more opportunities naturally seek to enjoy them and to do that they need more money. on the other hand, we should not be guided only by what we think we need to have but what is really good to have. on one hand, to have a wider range of choice is a good thing, on the other, it requires much more responsibility and careful decision making on our part what to choose. people paradoxically do not like freedom. nowadays when I can choose among twenty jars of jam I feel less free than when under communism in my country there was one kind of jam and one was happy if one had the luck to not be out of supply. it is important to appreciate that we have the luck to choose which jam we want and we should not want to get back to the comfort of someone choosing for us instead of us, although many people do like it. even for myself it is difficul to choose and make decision sometimes and I would appreaciate someone else making the choice for me, nevertheless, I always try to acknowledge that the choices we make is what forms us and makes us better people- the result of the choice notwithstanding. every decision we make is the best one because I can never know what the resulf of another decision in the same case would be. we have an unfortunate need to dichotomize our decisions. we sometimes think that there is one good choice and all other are false, that there is good and evil. as a believe , I also believe in good and evil but I also think that between black and white there are myriads of shades between them. nevertheles, I would not underestimate the power of conscience. i believe that our conscience steers us for some kind of choice and when we minimize the activity of our ego and let the conscience direct our actions and form our will, then we may encounter then best choice, although the result may not be what we expected it to be. what is even more important is to not think that my choice is also best for others. what I do may influence others but I should never project my feelings into the feelings of others-this is the root of all evil. if I do something for someone because I think it is best for him, then I am gravely mistaken. if I take the choice to decide for him from him and do it instead of him , then I rob him of his dignity because I say that I know better what is best for him. it may prove benefitial for him in the end, nevertheless, the choice (even such that makes harm) is more important then supposedly good outcome. having said this,i can get back to what I said at the beginning, that the more availability of opportunities does not mean a better conditions but definitely bear a greater potential for improvement than lack of the posibility to make choice and choose among things. it also bears a greater responsiblity but responsibility is after all what makes us better people, because the choices we make make us more and more responsible, if the choices are aimed outside, for bonum comune and not only for ourselves, to satisfy our needs and ego. there is nothing like absolute good and evil but after all there is usually way that we feel we should take and we can be sure that it was the best choice possible altough(maybe because) we shall never know the results of the other ways.


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Fear of death or life

Fear of death or life
To not fear the death is very brave. But the absence of fear of life is even braver. We cannot escape from ourselves. We should fight the fears but in the end the important aspect is the reconciliation with who we are, with our fears and everything that bothers us. this all belongs to the issue of humanity. by saying reconcile, I do not mean that we should accept it as inevitable and be weak because it is natural. it is more of abstract atonment with out selves, with God. Accepting that we are weak, yet we want to become stronger but after all, we know that it all depends on Him. the human life is everlasting oscilation between entropy and choice. How can we make a choice in entropical life? this sounds paradoxical but when taking the above said reconciliation with God, it makes sense. We must try but after all, we must reconcile with the fact that the outcome of our effort does not depend on us but on Him-yet we should be humble and try and try nevertheless. Christ in the Gethsemane garden says that he feels very gloomy, yet he accepts Gods will. He shows his God-Human face. He is afraid of death-this is natural human characteristic, yet he is not afraid of life- this is Godly. We say that we are not afraid of death as well, but we are afraid of dying-and life is neverending dying-until we die. this is the entropy that we must find our place in and accept the inevitability of prognostics in it. if we were not afraid of death, we would blaspeme-we would say that we are sure that we come to Him. we should follow God in not being afraid of life because in life is what we can influence-not death-not the result of our actions. nothing that comes into us is evil. only what we do with it can be either good or evil. the mirror of our soul is in others-let us ask honestly what we see in the reflections of ourselves in the eyes of others.


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What we think about becomes reality

What we think about becomes reality
I read an article about the small talk topic in one very poor African country Guayana. This topic was a suicide. There are so poor conditions that the topic of commiting suicide is on the daily basis. it reminds me of Jews commiting suicide in concentration camps who were not able to carry the burden of contempt of the guards and conditions in the camps. In Guyana there is not contempt but the conditions are also horrible. This is enough to start thinking about suicide. nevertheless, this approach strikes me as incredibly strange. We see that when one does not see any way out, one starts thinking about the final solution to ones predicament and one also adapts on the thinking about devising it in reality. when one is negative in thinking, one also looks down, sad, depressed on the outside and creates and aura of negativity. People avoid him and this then deepens his despondency and creates a vicious circle from which it is then virtually impossible to escape. The first step in doing something differently is start thinking differently. If the people think about suicide as something normal, then it becomes something normal. this works also vica versa and is very effective. if one starts to see the issues more brightly, then the conditions will naturally not be more bright but are more bearable nevertheless. I do not want to judge people who commit suicide, I even believe that some problems combined for example with psychiatric diagnosis are really unbearable and that suicide was not really ones decision or fault under such conditions. nevertheless, I think that it is important to manifest that the latent subconscious thinking about suicide as something normal creates a differences in the brain and teaches us that if something has no solution then we may commit suicide and solve the problem that way. Unfortunately, suicide is a solution-in a way. If subjectively I see myproblems as unbearable, I can be sure that having commited suicide I shall have them no more. I lose my life as a part of the deal but if the life does not bring any more pleasure, then arguments against suicide are very disadvantaged. The only way out of this predicament is a change of paradigm. If I cannot change the conditions, I can change my way of perception of those conditions. I understand when the strain is too big and someone just cannot bear it any more. However, majority of people rather survive-even under concentration camps conditions rather than commiting suicide. For those people in risk of commiting suicide the change of paradigm could be a way out. To alleviate my negative thining about my situation, I can at least share my thoughts with people around me-sharing helps a lot. Some people even think that sharing is virtually solving-or at least a beginning of solution to any problem. Another step would be to see in the predicament a way that makes me stronger in the future. This is also difficult because if the future is bleak, then one does not want to see it. Nevertheless, today we shape tomorrow, so with a bit of positive thinking, we may gain strength to make tomorrows nicer than todays.


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Video surveilence in football

Video surveilence in football
I read a discussion about whether there should be a tv surveilence in football in order to know precisely what happened on the court. There were many supporters to this idea in the professional league but there were also opposers, mainly in the lower levels of the game. I consider this professionalisation of any game basically contradicting its nature. It is more and more about who is better and who is worse than about a game. We play games in order to feel better, to strike friendship, to relax, to have fun. During armistice in WW2 on Christmas the soldiers went out of barricades and played football together although they were shooting at each other the same day and would be the other after Christmas. May having videocameras on the courts we say that the precision is more important than the game itself. I do not say that it is alright to cheat in the game, not at all, but I think that more important than centimeter here and there which is recongnizable only on the video recording is not as important as the ability to relish the game and enjoy it the details notwithstanding. nevertheless, today the professional football players create the opposite- it is not about the game, about friendship but about animosity. it is not about unity but about division. In olympics there is a saying that victory is not as important as taking part in the game. by videorecording every detail we say that the outcome-either victory or loss is more important than anything else.


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