Christian conference, a few hints

The lack of strength is a consequence of not living with God. If we complain about not having enough power or strength to do Gods will, then it is because we do not follow his will. on the other hand, even the evil is sometimes powerful and sometimes acceptance of lack of strength is also Gods will. maybe it is not a lack of strength but acceptance that I should focus on something else, something for what I shall have the strength. the problem with the will is that all people want to follow God, it is our nature, but we always clash with His will. we complain about not knowing his will but in most cases we have he will but focus rather on what we want. Accepting my weekness is letting God into my life. The exhaustion or depletion of strength is very often a consequence of pride-God helps us so that we do not sin more with pride than we do.

Devil hates us because we resemble God. In the first place we must accept God, than we start fighting evil. we should not focus on looking for evil in order to destroy it. we should try to find what good we can do. preocupation with evil does not help because we see evil only when we let it come into our life.

Children need four things in their growin up: Safety, Love, Value, Acceptance. Anything else is redundant, anything less is compensated with alternatives-drugs, promiscuity.

Faith is intrinsic reliance on God

Salvation is our entelechy and its free. all we should do is that this greates thing that we can get in this world is free- accept that someone loves us so much that He gives this to us for free-accept that someone may love us so much. this acceptance is the most difficult thing because it requires unconditional fall into Gods arms. We must accept the truth that we are the most valuable person to Him. We must also accept that the dignity of man is for everyone else the same as for us-in Gods eyes, Gods truth.

Stand strong on the ground, but have your heart in heaven

a big anger can lead to a big self reconciliation. Sometimes it is better to let our inner evil out rather than trying to hide it and then know myself under new conditions, in new situation. on the other hand, we should not use the weapons of the enemy-eg anger in order to clean ourselves from evil, it is inevitablet that we shall fall into devils trap if we do so regularly. the burst of anger must be in order to clean myself, not egoistically hurt myself or others.

Fear is what hinders us from anything and everything good.

Confession is quite a new thing. People in the time of Christ and after His crucification did not have many occasions to confess, yet if they admited their guild, their sins were lost. same today, confession is the last step that we take in order to clean ourselves officially, but the first and foremost step is in our hearts. We must admit our failure, forgive others but ourselves as well, which is very often more difficult. maybe we should not be so much preocupied with who is better and who is worse but who really cares about well being and good.
Jesus promised to be with us till the end. He also said that we should build communities and spread evangeline. These are things that we with certainty know we should do. Evangeline is partly inhibition of our freedom, but it is giving our freedom in order to be near to God. We cannot force people to get rid of freedom, it is even more important than proximity of God because without freedom noone can choose to come to HIm. on the other hand, we should not be afraid to talk about God in front of other people and also in confrontation, but never forcefully. Everyone has the right to be with God and so that it is our duty to spread evangeline. We should not think that because we are weak we do not have to spread it , but it is false.God shall give us the strength. Faith as well as Love proliferates when it is talked about and given away. The more one gives, the more one has. The more good we are, the more strength to be good we get from our Father in heaven. We should not think that we can save the world or people around us, after all, it is all about saving our soul. nevertheless, we should be ready to help other to save their souls.

The grace of God is given to us for free. It is the greatest good that we can imagine.

The gates of Gods gracefulness on some sacred places are a bit paradoxical because in order to get mercy we should be clean. Should not it be vica versa?

There is no need to call God names, because ˋHe´does not have sex, male or female, we cannot grasp him by our desire to name things.

Is what I want to say important? what should I say so that it is not redundant? The need to say it is the justification of saying it. Stop thinking about whether it is good or not. if I consider it truth, then stop thinking about possible side effects of such utterance.

Idolatry is not only things, real material entities, like food or body but also thoughts. Envy, pride, anything that occupies my mind unnecessarily. Gods justice is incomprehensible for us, it is something we imagine. His righteousness is absolute, for us unimaginable.

Faith without love is uselesss. Faith is a gift, whereas Love is our choice. If one apostazises, it is not a loss of faith, it is a willing and conscious choice to stop loving. If one holds some church prescripts, for example sex prior to marriage as right and for some reason gives up his religion, then holding to it even without religion is a proof of ones faith.
Is there a need for fear of God, religion? we should not fear God, only ourselves. The more restiction, the more recidivity, there is not point in forbidding something, there is only point in explaining everything.

We should acknowledge that we shall fall once or again, but if we have the support in God, we shall be sure he wont let us fall down.

A spiritual guide does not go in front of me, behind me but ,d does not follow or lead but goes right next to me. he envisions consequnces of my deeds, tells me so but leaves the decision on me
Do not be afraid of new things and challenges, God shall not let you fall down.

There should be no difference between what I should do and I want to do. All unhappiness arises from this incongruence.

If we listen to God, he shall show us they way.

Forgiving myself is more difficult than forgiving others. It is basically self un-love, if I do not love myself then I do not let God love me.

One should not be afraid of saying God what the one wants, but after all, God should be the one that says what yes and what not. If what I want does not happen, then it is either bad for me, or I shall get it later, or God has something better for me.

Every thought that comes out of my heart is a good prayer.

When I want to change what I dislike in other, I first must change myself.

Why should I wake Jesus up when he sleeps on the boat in the storm, just b eing with him and trusting Him is essential.

When someone is unsympathetic to me, then I do not sin, this is natural. Only if I let it go into something negative, into hurting that person, then I sin.

The orange tree asked the almond tree to show him Gods presence and the almond tree blossomed.



I found in the library a book about Anne Frank, who was a holland child that together with her family hid herself in the back of a store house and lived some years there during the second world war. her story is a very raw and through immaculate child perspective seen picture of the war. Anne talks about everything they do in a very straight and candid way. the more I read life stories and factual literature the more upset I get when i come across a piece of fictional literature because i see that the naturalness is what really keeps me attached to what I read. In her life story we see how she matures and yet keeps her child view about the world around. Although the war rages and she must endure much more than an average person, she does not loose her wits and good humour. One passage was very interesting. Anne talks there about her relationship with her mother whom she does not really like because they argue very often. it is hard to judge from this perspective because Anne says that although her mother wanted to strike a better relationship with her and apologizes Anne still does not want to get nearer metaphorically speaking to her. Anne claims that the unjustice by her mother is true and that she may feel pity and commiseration for the mother but cannot be friends with her. This may of course be right. she may feel unjust because the child is usually at the will of it parents, on the other hand,we all make mistakes and once the mother apologizes the child should be ready to do the same move. this is of course a nice theory and children have much longer rebel span than adults usually have. nevertheless, it is good to realize that we all make mistakes, children and adults as well, we all are still on the onset of our journey, we still have much to learn and morality is according to my Christian belief something that cannot be learn because it is given to us in order to distinguish us from animals. It is already perfected within ourselves, the only thing we may do is to discover what is already given to us by revealing that we know what is good and evil when we really give up our ego and start to look into our hearts to see the truth.

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Confirmation resolutions

for this last month I had a kind of moral crisis. I was preparing myself for the confirmation sacrament and I was not really sure whether I am fit for it, whether I am ready etc. In a way it is better when a young one is basically lead to this sacrament without much thinking. The older I get, the more I think about things, whether they are good, whether they are worth the time spend on them and so on. Thinking about things is definitely a good path to knowledge but not always to wisdom. Sometimes it is very wise to stop thinking and let oneself be lead by the higher power. Nevertheless, it is hard to recognize when God leads us and when not. I usually discern between mine and His thinking when I try to doubt, worry, think endlessly in cycles about one thing and what is more important, when I think too much about myself. The sacrament of confirmation, the Holy Spirit that I received is about making myself further from myself, giving oneself to others as opposed to doing egoistically everything for oneself. This is usually the trait that I try to follow when thinking about whether I really follow Gods footsteps or whether I only think about my own egoistical good. there is virtually no time when God is not with us. or on the other hand he may never be with us, if we never let Him in. It all about our free will and choice. We may either accept him or reject him. He is with us absolutely or absolutely not, he would not force us into anything because the choice is what he loves in us the most. It is not possible for anyone, even for God to force anyone into loving Him. The choice to give Him our hearts is the only thing that we must do alone, without His help and it is the only thing when we have absolutely free choice to either follow his will, or our ego. So the last month or two I was too occupied with preparing myself theoretically that the theory slipped into doubts about whether I am so good a catholic as to accept Holy Ghosts gifts.the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it is not possible to know everything about Church and that the theory is not the primary thing that God is interested in. the doubts may be useful if they lead us into a better decision making. On the other hand, if the doubts lead us away from God because we fear we are not good enought, then such doubts are detrimental to our lives. The more we fear God, the more we should get to him because only God is the one that may shelter us from fear. only in him we shall not be afraid. in the homily the bishop talked about not being afraid to do and say anything that we believe is right. He told me that because I chose the name of st. Joseph I shall always know what is right and what is evil as long as I stay withing the Holy Family. I hope it will be true .I do not doubt the Holy Family, I doubt my approach. Nevertheless, my fear notwithstanding I shall carry on. Formerly I used to be a much too assimilative person, I did not like conflicts and I rather talked to people in the manner they liked in order to make myself trustworthy and to ease the strain of communication deficiencies and misunderstanding​s. Now I should try to not talk pleasantly as I used to, which does not mean that I shall be rude, from now one I should think about staying withing the love of the Holy Family, be polite to others but I should never be afraid of saying what I believe is good or evil, because as the bishop told me, this is what the Love of the Holy Family should give me.

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a menagerie of choice

a friend of mine told me that he goes on a vacation through a discount page where he chose a vacation not based on his preferences, but based on what was right now at discount price. is not this also a menagerie? one should want to choose what one wants, feels like going and doing and not according to what others say to him. on the other hand, there are people who would go nowhere had they not the possibility to have a vacation at a discount price. it is a serious dilemma. on one hand one wants to be free, do what one feels is right, but on the other hand one may not have enough money, so that he bents to the will of those who say him where he should go. is it better to be at no holiday or be on holiday where one may not really want to be?

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