How can I recognize God´s call? I do not think that it is predetermined what one should be – whether a priest, a husband or anything else. It is up to us what we are, what we choose to be. God only wants from us to be free in our choice to be good. If he wanted to, he would guide is through everything, but he gave us freedom to trust in him. That is all he want. I only have to believe from my own free will that he will guide me, and he will. Once I make the choide, I should stand by it. If I split up with my girlfriend I should stand by my choice, not because I say egoistically that I can live without her, but because choice is the only think we have in this life. Of course, choices may change. I should not say to myself, that I do not want her and that I will stay by my decision my love to her notwithstanding. When I see that I still love her, I should be opened to reevaluation of my choice. Choice is never absolute, because future is unforseenable, but I should always stand by my present-time choice, which should always aim to please God. Future should be left up to him. It is basically about not doing what is pleasureable for body. For example masturbation may be pleasurable but definitely is not good, although many people would say, and even empirical research may suggest, that it is good to masturbate (for example to get rid of stress or agression). From a long-term perspective this is a detrimental view. God is not empirically proven. Murder can be empirically seen to be evil, because it hurts others, but some things are evil although they do not hurt anybody. For example, I persisted voluntary in seeing a nice woman with a lustful images in my head. I knew its evil and yet I did it. Once one does not refrain from such thoughts he sins. The thought itself is natural but indulging in it becomes sinful.Other think was that I watched myself in the mirror thinking how good and muscular I look and what I should wear so that others see it. Sin again, it is so stupid and ridiculous behaviour. Is better hedonism (thinging) or ascetism (thinking)? We have so little time and it is definitely better to use the little time we have not for a bodily pleasure but for Jesus´s cross. It may seem paradoxical but it is better to choose difficulty of spiritual life, than easiness and pleasure of a secular world. Once I know about something that it is wrong, I cannot linger on doing it. Conscious evil is the only evil we can do. What angers you is usually good, because once something makes you angry, you are confronted with your weakness instead of becoming a better person via not becoming angry but rather coping with my anger. When I talk about God and a spiritual way of life, people tell me that there is not God. But what if there is, what if what I say is really true, because, once you look into your conscience you know it is. It is not from my head, this is a universal Jesus´s school of love. If there is not God, it is still reasonable to do good, because good is the only think that makes us happy. Love and then do anything you want as St. Augustine said. What if what you do is wrong-just try to acknowledge it potentially and hypothetically-would you be willing to refrain from doing it? If not, then you did not acknowledge it and still live in your egoistical viewing of world. This is very often the case, unwillingness to at least acknowledge that what I hold as good (for example sex prior to marriage, masturbation etc) may not be good at all.
Is the golden rule really universal? What if I want to help other, but do not want other to help me, in other words, what if I want different things for other and for myself? It is of course true, that helping other is natural and good, and also vica versa, when someone helps me, I should be grateful, but even golden rule should not be considered absolute. I may consider advising others good, but may not want other to advise me, because I want to find my own way. If I see someone it is as good to help him as it is not to help him. By helping others I rob them of the chance to get stronger,on the other hand by helping them I show them that not everybody is careless. There are as many opinions as there are people. Golden rule works only in abstract terms – love others because others should love you.
I would like to philosophy a little bit about relationships generally and about what is good in intimate life before and after marriage. My view is basically a Christian one. First promiscuity: when a girl is young and lives sexually with all her partners, it hurts her although she knows it. Every sexual partner bears with him possible genes or viruses of his former sexual partners. On the other hand, one should not reproach his partner for having many sexual partners before him if the girl is conversant with the fact that it is/was wrong and that she does not want to do it again. Her conscience should tell her so. Dont be afraid to talk about the past,but dont force her to talk about it.truth uncovers itself. She should have confidence in you that she can tell everything and will not be judged or repudiated by you. Even if you learned that she did horrible things, had dozens of sexual partners, her past is not her present. Her past is deleted once she/he accepts Christ into one´s heart, soul and life. Past is a mirror of our life but nevertheless everyone has a choice to do good and turn into a good person, even if this would happen seconds before one´s death. Past should not influence the present, although it may be hard for the more religious to accept it – if for example the other partner was living a pure life, nevertheless, never judge your partner for her past, never judge anybody. Present is what matters, future and past cannot be changed. This belongs to God only. Choice is what matters. Not to have someone who is better than my actual partner, but to make the choice to love her, because even the fact that we came together is God´s plan. Until we love each other, let us not think about outer factors, hobbies etc, because there things are not essential to relationship, love is. To make a choice to love her, her weakness and past and our differences notwithstanding. Let us not seek reason why not be with each other, let us enjoy the greatest reason to be with each other. Choice to love is eternal, everything else decays and is prone to change and mutability. Choice is what depends on use. Appearance changes, hobbies change, but choice depends on us always.
Another thing is what to stay pure until marriage. When I talk about this with some friends who live sexually with their girls, they usually have fun of my talk or denouce it. Usually we arrive at consensus, that what I do is basically more difficult than what they do and that they (even unconsciously or unwillingly) have a reason to look up to me. This I say not because I want to feel egoistically or better than them (although this feeling always lurks somewhere hidden, but until one does not give up to the thought-any sinful thought when it comes, if one does not indulge in it but throws it away, it is not a sin. Evil thoughts come all the time, the crucial thing is what one does with them – do I indulge in my evil phantasies or do I renounce them- this is the question) but because I want to shem them a better way of life. What is pleasurable – sex prior to marriage may not ( and usually is not) the right thing to do. I have faith in life as the most sacred thing given to us but I also try to live life in faith. Faith in life, life in faith is what we should feel. To have faith in live means to give up our bodies to our Creator and to for our bodily pleasure. This does not mean that I should not kiss or caress my girl, but I should always bear in mind, that not we are married should the physical contant be or arousing character (fore play for sex). I would say that even caressing and kissing and even holding of hands is basically love-making, because every such contact should lead predominantly to marriage, if it does not, then such a relationship is predestined to be doomed because it only seeks egoistical pleasure. We should not be stressed if this touch or that on my partner´s body is sinful or good. This is not about a limit(for example kissing on cheek is good, kissing on neck not). Sin/goodness is not about limit but a dichotomy. Two poles. Black and white, Good and evil. On the other hand, let us not be afraid to push the limits, because unless I touch my girl on places formerly avoided, I cannot know that out love (physical nearness) grows. Growing of physical nearness it possible only in a relationship that aims to be consumated before God, not in a temporal (intentionally) relationship. This does not say that I should push the limits to play with fire – on the other hand, to know what is good will keep me save, because I always see if the touch I perform is good or not -that is the reason why one should not be afraid of touching partner´s body everywhere where he/she is not sure. Of course some places are forbidden even withou trying. It is not good to touch genitalies because this usually leads to arousing and further to sex – this should be after marriage. On the other hand, let us not be afraid to touch the partner everywhere to see for myself that it is not good. Once I see that me or her gets around, then I have a choice either to stop (go against my/her pleasure and not sin) or to sin and continue in arousing her/my lust. When I touch her and see the it makes me or her aroused and stop, then this is not a sin (unless this was performed in order to become aroused, if it was performed in order to learn if it makes me aroused, then it is not a sin). These are challenges to fight with sin and with ourselves – the evil within ourselves, withi our selves. Do not shun challenges but be ready to fight them, sinful thoughts come all the time. Thought are not sinfull in their essence, sin is what we do with them (either indulge in them or fight them). Do not be afraid to touch anywhere because it will also show you when is the right time to get married and consumate your marriage.
Similarly with sexual practices. Different practises than vaginal intercourse may not be sinful in their essence, but unfortunately very often lead to egoistical pleasure as opposed to doing good for God (and consequently for my partner, myself). Again, these practices are a challenges, once I see them as pleasurable for my ego, I should stop doing them but once I feel that our love grows through doing them, then I may be sure that it is for God´s glory. Different than vaginal intercourse should not be a way out of boredom in a relationship. When one starts to think in this way it is a way to hell, to perversion. One´s body is a sanctuary. To touch your girl everywhere is to love her or to destroy her. If one does it with evil thoughts (egoistical pleasure) then it is the greates sacrilage. When one does it in order to make her happy, show affection and love, then it is for God´s glory as well. When thinking about my partner only as a tool to satisfy my needs, then I will never be satisfied and eventually will start hating her/him. Similarly with contraception. I convinced by friend not to take contraception. One of my greates achievements as a Christian, though I am boasting. To use contraception is to use my partner´s body as a form of satisfaction, nothing else. Once I am able and willing(!!) to wait until we can make love, then it is a proof of my love (of course this must not be a calculation. I must not masturbate or indulge in any other form of autoeroticism. One should also be a support for each other. If one of the partners is around then the other should not let her/him continue. This would be rape anyway. Imagine that your girl is so horny and cannot (really?) controle herself and starts to undress you. Imagine holding her hands to not do that. This is basically a converse rape, you hold her tightly, she cannot move, but she was the one who started with undressing. I would say that girl has then so much confidence in you, because usually man is the one who is prone to allow take his body the control over his sexuality. On the other hand, man should not be a patriarch that has a subdued woman. It should be an equal relationshop. Nevertheless, woman usually need a dominant male. This dominance should nevertheless stem from my egoism but from my love and affection for my wife.
Concerning dogma generally, but basically aiming at religious dogmas, I would like to theoretize a little bit about their consequences – pros and cons. Is it good to be the one to obey laws or the one who creates them? Don´t be the one who obeys laws that are against God´s principle,be the one who creates such, that fulfill God´s will. It is not about creating dogmas,but showing people an alternative for them. One dogma that comes to my mind is that one should not kill anybody, not even it if saves other peoples lifes. Another dogma is that one should not think about his/hers life, but primarily about the goodness that his action brings to the world. It is not about anything else but goodness. Not even life is as important as good actions. One should not do evil, in order to bring a greater good. One should not steal in order to dedícate the money to the charity because the consequences of one´s actions can see only God, I cannot see the future. I can only act right now, in this moment and not think about future. God wants us to be free, we have a free will and choice to shun evil, not because a priest or a dogma tells me,but because I want, and I should want to use my freedom to do good. Doing good does not depend on knowledge or experience, although I may have a bad experience doing something, it may be the right thing to do-beautiful in the eyes of God, my experiences and knowledge notwithstanding. One never knows what´s right and thus should follow his conscience,not anybody elses. It is good to be inspired by others, but it is inevitable to decide on myown,otherwise we are like animals who follow the group leader or base instincts. What consequences my actions shall bring is never known to me and thus I can decide only according to my conscience, not depending on my past experiences, which may be good or bad. What comes out of the heart is the only truth – God within us. Truth is not to be found, but is revealed every minute and will never be fully revealed and thus it is important to critically think about anything and everything that I encounter and not taky anything that comes to my life as a dogma or an absolute truth.
I believe in words, I believe in their power, I believe that word is what changes people. Through words we can reach a consensus about what is good and evil, about what is right and wrong. Jesus didn’t write anything, because words he said were already known to us. his uniqueness was in his deeds. what he did was perfect, but what we do is never perfect. we can only try to be better and better but can never be sure that what I do is the best thing that I can do. Only through words we can be sure that we know the truth. what Jesus said is not as important as what he did. what he says is already known to us, in other words, everything we need we already have when we are born. through words we can all agree that we all should try to be good, to do good instead of doing evil. On the other hand deeds are something which depends on one’s own individual conscience, we can never be sure about any act or deed of another person that it is good or evil. This depends on him or on her. those who try to judge other people’s deeds will be judged themselves. Every human activity can be done in two ways, good or evil. In the New Testament when woman touched Jesus with faith she was healed. If she didn’t have faith, she wouldn’t have been saved. Charity, the organization, is sometimes seen as something celestial. people that work there are sometimes seen s flawless because they work in this sphere. they have great responsibilities and they do not have much money . the truth is that working in the charity is nothing different from any other occupation. Politician or manager, occupations often considered to be selfish, if performed well are as good as any charity occupation. This is the reason why we cannot be judged what people should be or do. On the other hand people need to be reproached when not doing the right thing – only true love can I show my opinion about other people’s acts . it is my duty to tell someone that what he does is, in my view, bad or evil. If someone does a crime we won’t change him from outside – by a jail for example but only from inside, by changing his heart through our example or words. words are even more universal than deeds because as mentioned above deeds can be seen through many lenses. Any act may be seen as both merciful but also damaging. giving money to the homeless can both help him but also hurt him. only in words can one understand if it was intended to be good or evil.