instincts

instincts
we humans are inclined to understand everything via the way of science. I would like to focus on instincts in inter personal relatonionships. I had a discussion about how we people discern between someone who may be trusted and someone who may not. I claim that we have certain instinct, or more abstractly deja vu that helps us to discover something about the other person that may be detrimental for trust and which may not be so easily named. my partner claimed that one always knows what one does not like on the other person and that if one does not know what it is, then the reason is that one does not see it in oneself. If for example one is not very emphatic or intellgent, then it is virtually impossible to understand what the other person feels or does. unless I do not experience the characteristic of another person that I do not have, I cannot name what it is. we see other people only through our perspective and unless we reflect in our experience certain asset of a human nature, we are not able to understand it in another person. here I think that instincts come at play. instinct is a tool that tells us that something or someone may not be utterly right or correct but our reason is not learned enough to explain it logically. until i learn the person more and name the suspicious feature of ones character, then only instinct leads our behaviour. instincts on the other hand may be deceptive. we all cary a bias against certain assets, behaviours, people and so on and such bias may on one hand help us to avoid being hurt again when for example trusting someone who betrayed me, but on the other hand such bias is also an obstacle to a new connections with new people. one bad experience may help me to not be betrayed agains, but also this same experience may create an obstacle to avoid all other opportunities for creation of new trustworthy relationships.

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